Confessionsofa Ex-Doofus-Itchy Footed Mutha

Melvin Van Peebles unwatchable video collage version of his 1982 Broadway disaster "Waltz of the Stork" might work in an art instillation with plastic trash bags lining the walls, but the film fails miserably to live up to Van Peebles's reputation as the man who made the groundbreaking Blaxploitation film "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song" (1971). The 75-year-old Van Peebles plays himself from age 10 when he left Chicago for Mexico, only to end up in Manhattan working at various jobs and falling in love before his "itchy feet" led him into the merchant marines and finally onto Africa. Punctuated with Van Peebles dated "ghetto deadpan" delivery of platitudes, "CEDIFM" is a cinematic embarrassment that wouldn't get a passing grade for a freshman at NYU film school. This is the kind of movie that really does separate the wheat from the chaff among film critics. It isn't just bad, it's gawdawful.
Not Rated. 99 mins. (F) (Zero Stars)