The once-promising director Joe Carnahan ("Narc") has succumbed with impunity to Hollywood excess. While Carnahan might wax poetic about the "gravitas" of his "A-Team" lead actor (Liam Neeson), the only thing weighty in this mindless smash-it-up picture is the amount of money squandered on something so instantly forgettable.
Inspired by the '80s era television series, four Special Forces vets are forced to go rogue after being imprisoned for a vague crime involving stolen American counterfeit money printing plates in Baghdad.
Neeson chomps on cigars in dyed gray hair as team strategist "Hannibal" Smith, while Bradley Cooper provides tooth-paste charisma as "Face" Peck, a charmer with romantic ties to U.S. military heavyweight Charisa Sosa (Jessica Biel).
Mixed-martial-arts star Quinton "Rampage" Jackson fills Mr. T's shoes as the Mohawk-wearing B.A. Baracus, leaving Sharlto Copley ("District 9") with the short straw as the company crazy Murdock. Patrick Wilson plays good-guy-bad-guy CIA officer Lynch, who at turns helps the team escape separately from prison before attempting to frame them right back into the pokey.
Bullets fly like so much oil from a British Petroleum drill site, and giant steel storage containers explode as if they were Legos being tossed around by a caffeinated 10-year-old. If you prefer stupefaction to satisfaction then "The A-Team" is the movie for you.
Rated R. 109 mins.
