If not for the quixotic presence of Gogol Bordello lead singer Eugene Holtz, Madonna’s directorial debut would have no entertainment value.
It still doesn’t have much with Holtz in a slightly altered version of himself.
Eugene Holtz plays A.K. a Ukrainian London-dwelling BDSM prostitute by day and gypsy rock singer by night.
A.K.’s friends, ballet dancer-turning-pole-stripper Holly (Holly Weston), a martyr-complex-pharmacist Juliette (Vicky McLure), and an aged blind gay poet Professor Flynn (Richard E. Grant), fill in disconnected subplots.
The audience is left to suffer every strained moment of narrative stagnation that co-writer/director Madonna can deliver.
Fans of Eugene Holtz may get a brief charge from his Ukrainian-inflected irony that saturates every word he utters, but all others should beware of giving this sloppy film the time of day.
Not Rated. 81 mins.
