UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN
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Diane Lane sheds her sex pot appeal in this ludicrous romantic something-or-another about a recently divorced San Francisco native who takes a vacation to Tuscany, Italy and ends up buying a 300-year-old villa and trying to charm the birds from the trees.
Director/producer/screenwriter Audrey Wells confirms the theory that all movies born in San Francisco are dogs, as she takes a kitchen sink approach to the movie.
Idiotic references to Fellini blend with insufferable banality as Frances (Lane) intones voiceover platitudes that mainly begin with “There comes a time when.”
“Under The Tuscan Sun” is a romantic abomination wherein the main character’s best friend is a pregnant Asian lesbian who comes to Italy to visit, and ends up ruining the story’s only semi-romantic aspect and extends its painful length for an extra half-hour in the process.
Rated PG-13. 113 mins.