UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN

Welcome!

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.This ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

 

 

Diane Lane sheds her sex pot appeal in this ludicrous romantic something-or-another about a recently divorced San Francisco native who takes a vacation to Tuscany, Italy and ends up buying a 300-year-old villa and trying to charm the birds from the trees.

Director/producer/screenwriter Audrey Wells confirms the theory that all movies born in San Francisco are dogs, as she takes a kitchen sink approach to the movie.

Idiotic references to Fellini blend with insufferable banality as Frances (Lane) intones voiceover platitudes that mainly begin with “There comes a time when.”

“Under The Tuscan Sun” is a romantic abomination wherein the main character’s best friend is a pregnant Asian lesbian who comes to Italy to visit, and ends up ruining the story’s only semi-romantic aspect and extends its painful length for an extra half-hour in the process.

Rated PG-13. 113 mins.

ZERO STARS