BATTLEFIELD EARTH

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"Battlefield Earth," based on a crappy 1982 sci-fi novel by cult religion dipshit L. Ron Hubbard, is so inept and pathetic that it should forever end any questions about the validity of Hubbard’s manufactured religion of Scientology.

Oh, my fucking God.

This grade Z movie should likewise have the effect of insuring that none of its cast, crew, or director ever be allowed to work in cinema ever again.

In spite of Scientology member, and Battlefield Earth actor and producer, John Travolta’s statements about there being "no connection between "Battlefield Earth" and Scientology," the correlation is unavoidable.

Part of Scientology’s pitch is that, 75 million years ago, an evil ruler named "Xenu" implanted evil spirits (called Thetans) inside volcanoes on Earth. All humans are supposedly made up of these "Thetans," which can only be removed by spending lots of money on Scientology.

Chortle.

Talk about "cocksucker blues," wow!

You can also throw your money away on this boring half-baked sci-fi movie in the name of Scientology; it only cost me two precious hours of my life but I still feel cheated. 

Rated PG-13. 117 mins.

ZERO STARS