ST. TRINIAN'S

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This hot mess of a teen girl comedy comes with the added humiliation of its overqualified stars.

Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Toby Jones, Stephen Fry, and Russell Brand all pitch in with good natured aplomb that gets buried beneath a script so sloppy you'd think it had been written by the uneducated lasses that overpopulate the film.

The story is set in an anarchic girl's boarding school called St. Trinian's, overseen by headmistress Camilla (Rupert Everett), where art dealer Carnaby Fritton (also played by Everett) sends his daughter Annabelle (Talulah Riley) for an education in all things hedonistic, like cheating at field hockey games, playing army with paintball guns, and selling homemade vodka.

A juvenile plot unfolds about an effort by Colin Firth's Minister of Education Geoffrey Thwaites's to shut down the school of reprobates in spite of his revised lust for the improbable Camilla, with whom he shared a romantic involvement in their youth.

With foreclosure looming over the school, the students hatch an overworked scheme to win a competition quiz show taking place at the National Gallery, where the girls plan to steal Vermeer's "Girl With the Pearl Earring," to then fence through Russell Brand's dubious character.

Rowdy 12-year-old British girls might get some modicum of narcissistic pleasure from "St. Trinian's" (loosely based on Ronald Searle's WWII era cartoons), but no one else will.

Rated PG-13. 97 mins.