EAT PRAY LOVE

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Insufferable, interminable, and stuffed with navel-picking excess, "Eat Pray Love" is just as crass as any "Sex in the City" film.

An unintended indictment of everything wrong with the American elite's self-important sense of global entitlement, the narrative follows passive aggressive Liz (Julia Roberts) as she dumps her loyal and loving husband Stephen (Billy Crudup) because she's never allowed herself a single moment of independence. Needy Liz might have wanted to consider that before she said her wedding vows.

With a fat bank account and more than a few imaginary problems, Liz has all the time in the world to tacitly adopt her new actor-boy sleeping partner's flavor-of-the-month religion, Buddhism, before dumping him too.

On her way to visit said boyfriend's guru in India, Liz stops off in Rome to wow the Italians with her quick mastery of their language and culture. No matter how much you think you like Julia Roberts's strangely shaped lips, you'll be sick of watching them consume vast quantities of Italian food in big screen close-ups.

Film editor Bradley Buecker seems like he edited the movie with a blindfold on. Money-shots of iconic landmarks are reduced to blinks while the film itself runs a good forty-minutes too long. This is two-and-half hours that feels like five.

There's a scene in Italy where a little peasant girl flips the bird at Liz and her blond gal-pal as they stroll down a Naples alley like they own the place. That adorable little girl is the only likable character in the movie, save for Liz's kindhearted ex-husband. The poor guy has no idea how lucky he is to break ties with such a greedy, self-absorbed, and condescending person.

This movie doesn't just suck, it disposes. "Betray Devour Invade" would have been a more appropriate title.

Rated PG-13. 140 mins.