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April 04, 2011

SUPER

COLE SMITHEY

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

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ColeSmithey.comWriter Director James Gunn ("Slither") beats the dead dog of fanboy culture with an idiotic movie that follows in the faux transgressive footsteps of "Kick-Ass."

Rainn Wilson rides his indie wave of unjustifiable leading-man status as Frank, an abandoned husband who turns to a life of crime-fighting to rescue his drug-addled wife Sarah (played by Liv Tyler). Stripper Sarah has been willfully kidnapped by a drug dealer played by Kevin Bacon.

Talk about slumming. Frank's red-spandex-wearing alter ego "The Crimson Bolt" proves more wrongheaded than the people he attacks with a plumber's wrench. The Crimson Bolt mercilessly bludgeons a couple waiting on line for a movie for "butting in line" after the man joins his mate who was already waiting on line.

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Ellen Page adds her name to the slum list as Libby, a horny comic book store clerk who susses out Frank's secret identity. Libby naturally imposes herself as Frank's short-skirted sidekick "Boltie."

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There's even a gratuitous sex scene between Frank and "Boltie" to excite post-pubescent nerd-boys with a costume fetish they didn't know they had. "Super" represents another nail in the coffin for the consciously impotent fanboy culture that hijacked Hollywood since the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Avoid this movie like the plague and say goodbye to petulance.

Rated R. 96 mins.

ZERO STARS

Cozy Cole

Cole Smithey on Patreon

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