« Paranormal Activity 3 | Main | THE BLUES BROTHERS — CLASSIC FILM PICK »

October 24, 2011

The Three Musketeers

The-three-musketeersIt's difficult to imagine a bigger waste of talent (Matthew Macgadyen, Mads Mikkelsen, and Christoph Waltz are squandered) or resources than Paul W.S. Anderson's snoozefest that serves as an open-hand insult to the famous work of Alexandre Dumas. Valuing spectacle over story, the movie catapults between a half-baked bit of espionage involving the theft of a blueprint for a air-boat war ship from Leonardo Da Vinci's secret vault to the burglary of the Queen of France's diamond necklace. Juno Temple gives a laughable performance in the role of Queen to King Louis (Freddie Fox). Unfortunate too is the King's much professed desire for his Queen which seems at odds with his openly expressed affection for D'Artagnan. The son of a former musketeer, D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) takes leave of his peasant parents in the countryside to put blood on his blade in the city of Paris where he manages to insult Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz), and each of the Three Musketeer's--Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson), Aramis (Luke Evans). He invites all of them to a duel. Needless to say, this D'Artagnan doesn't garner much audience empathy. Orlando Bloom seems to have finally aged out of his terminal man-boy persuasion in an obligatory turn as the Duke of Buckingham. Doomed to be referenced as an example of everything wrong with 21st cinema, “The Three Musketeers” is like a banana split prepared with in a blender. It looks like vomit, and leaves a knot in your stomach.

Rated PG-13. 102 mins. (D) (One Star - out of five/no halves)


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference The Three Musketeers:


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Featured Video

SMART NEW MEDIA® Custom Videos



Throwback Thursday

Podcast Series