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May 07, 2012

TONIGHT YOUR'E MINE

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ColeSmithey.comAs far as movies about nothing go, David Mackenzie’s synth-rock fantasy love story scrapes the bottom of the barrel. Teen idol characters and their booze-filled fans gather at Scotland’s outdoor music festival “T in the Park” to mix bodily fluids with tobacco, pot, rain, and grime.

Luke Treadway’s Adam is the egotistical singer for a crummy rock duo band with a proclivity for rehearsing acoustic versions of their songs in the back of ultra-compact cars.

The disposable pop musician meets his polar opposite/equal in rival bandleader Morello (Natalia Tena) when the two find themselves handcuffed together by an asinine festival prankster who promptly disappears with the key.

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Unskilled in the art of using a paperclip to unlock a handcuff, the pair spends the movie bickering with their respective partners when they aren’t drawn into performing onstage together against their will.

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Short on substance, and barely approaching any degree of musical interest, “Tonight You’re Mine” is a half-baked piece of cinematic fluff for barely pubescent female audiences who ostensibly don’t know any better. What a snooze.

Rated R. 80 mins.

1 Star

Cozy Cole

ColeSmithey.com

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