THE HAND OF GOD

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Dreadful.

This movie is a dog.

Dogdamn it. 

Paolo Sorrentino's filmic coming-of-age memoir has some pretty scenery but plays like a train going .001 miles per hour.

Characters ostensibly based on real people are just hateful, mean, and socially destructive.

Rob Brydon's and Steve Coogan's "Trip To Italy" movie is a much better choice if a modern day Italian travelogue is what you're after .

Rated R. 130 mins. 

ZERO STARS