WEST SIDE STORY

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

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Here is the longest two and a half hours you will spend in your life.

Steven Spielberg's nostalgic populism goes dark.

Very dark.

Forget about, "if you can't improve on the original, don't bother."

Spielberg damns the torpedos with off-base casting choices and a celebration of stomach-churning brute violence, under a tone-deaf sense of musicality.

Shrill.

Every song is in the wrong key relative to the demands of the narrative.

Fingernails on a chalkboard bad.

Just awful.

Even its ensemble's solid choreography gets lost beneath crushing waves of poor editing, pacing, and misplaced thematic emphasis.

In our modern violent times, the last thing audiences need is the racist fueled anger, hatred, and resentment this film promulgates. 

The definitive 1961 version of "West Side Story" retains its title.

This film only serves to underscore flaws in the source material.

Rated PG-13. 156 mins.

ZERO STARS