THE SURFER — CANNES 2024

 Welcome!

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

Punk heart still beating.

This ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

Cheers!

 

The Nicolas Cage cottage industry of Cinema rolls on.

Halefuckinluya.

Cinema audiences can take deep satisfaction in knowing that Nicolas Cage is still around to carry a torch for their American entertainment dollar.

It means a lot.

And why hasn't Nicolas Cage ever been in a Quentin Tarantino movie?

Just sayin'. Anyway.

As a middle-aged dad returning to purchase his Australian childhood beach home, Cage's surfer suffers every indignation and humiliation imaginable at the hands of a cult of beach rats.

"Bay Boys" they call themselves.

If only Lux Interior of The Cramps were along to tell these masculinity-chasing fools, "You ain't no Punk you punk."

If only.

Cage's surfer dad has his ass publicly handed to him in front of his teenaged son. Not a good look.

Relative newcomer Thomas Martin's script masks most of its plot holes with an incisive sense of tribal/cult mentality. Think "Lord of the Flies."

Social media gets a proper smack in a cell-phone incident that will make you squirm in your chair.

The script guilds the lily too much in regard to beach rat cult leader Scally (Julian McMahon), who Cage's character grew up around.

For a movie that takes place entirely in the location of an ocean front parking lot, "The Surfer" packs a significant punch.

Ignoring plot holes is half of the fun. Nicolas Cage never gives less than 100% in his performances. Here, Cage takes one for the metaphorical group of men who get indoctrinated into cults, either by love-bombing or in this case, brutal physical and mental abuse.

"The Surfer" is a gnarly social satire that gives food for thought about any man's quest for peace and civility.

One takeaway from "The Surfer" is if you find yourself in a situation where you are being embarrassed, humiliated, or abused in any way, hit the exit quick and escape.

Rated R. 100 mins.

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL — SHOCKTOBER!

Welcome!

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does. This ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Punk heart still beating.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

William Castle's 1959 B-Movie horror classic retains its goofy charm with a litany of gimmicky sight gags that, however tame by today's standards, keep their childish appeal.

The popular set-up trope for this tale of murder involves five specifically chosen people to attempt winning $10,000 for each one that can withstand an entire night in Vincent Price's "haunted" house.

Wealthy Frederick Loren (Vincent Price) in unhappily married to Carol Ohmart's Annabelle. The couple hate each other so much that either one could kill the other.

So it goes that Frederick supplies each "party" guest with a loaded gun, presented in cute little coffin cases.

Vincent Price does his all-knowing wink to the audience as he glides through the action with marvelous aplomb.

"House On Haunted Hill" is a kid-friendly horror movie that tickles as much as it surprises.

Of special importance to the film is it's use of the historic Frank Lloyd Wright-designed Ennis House in Los Feliz California.

William Castle ("King of the Gimmicks") revels in the story's silliness. It's all an excuse to get the audience to scream along with the actors.

If you want silly fun for your Halloween popcorn-eating enjoyment, "House on Haunted Hill" is a safe bet.

Not Rated. 75 mins.

MIDSOMMAR — SHOCKTOBER!

Welcome!

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does. This ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Punk heart still beating.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

Writer/director Ari Aster's brilliant horror/social satire is a film that would make M. Night Shyamalamadingdong jealous, very jealous.

"Midsommar" is everything that M. Night imagines his movies to be, but are not. Namely, being truly terrifying, albeit with a keen wit regarding theme and plot development. Smart.

Bold.

You want "character-driven"?

Well here it is.

Carried by Florence Pugh's flawless performance, "Midsommar" could have yet been improved upon with a good 12 minutes of editing.

Nonetheless, Ari Aster isn't afraid to shock his audience into submission. If ever there was a Halloween movie guaranteed to shock you, "Midsommar" is it.

Prepare for the worst.

This is one brutal movie. Not for the faint of heart.

"Midsommar" will not be everyone's cup of tea.

That said, if you're down with Aster's nuanced restraint, even his graphic depictions are engaging.

The violence is just literal enough, but you can clearly make out rubber from flesh.

The cycle of life, as carried out in a dystopic Swedish cult community, is the social Petri dish that Ari Aster uses to examine death, for the complex confusion and fear that it instills in all humanity.

Indoctrination is an essential part of the cult plan.

There's even a slasher-film aspect to "Midsommar" that tips its hat to black comedy.

All you need to know going into this transgressive (if surrealistic) film is that it covers: animal abuse, cannibalism, incest, suicide, matricide, homicide, and some serious fucking.

My work here is done.

Get thee thinking cap on.

Rated R. 148 mins.