THE HAND OF GOD

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Dreadful.

This movie is a dog.

Dogdamn it. 

Paolo Sorrentino's filmic coming-of-age memoir has some pretty scenery but plays like a train going .001 miles per hour.

Characters ostensibly based on real people are just hateful, mean, and socially destructive.

Rob Brydon's and Steve Coogan's "Trip To Italy" movie is a much better choice if a modern day Italian travelogue is what you're after .

Rated R. 130 mins. 

ZERO STARS

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

This website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

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THE TENDER BAR

Amateurish memoir adaptation.

George Clooney has lost his touch as a director.

Clooney's eighth feature effort is hobbled by myriad missteps. 

Rudimentary rules of filmmaking get broken at every turn.

Voice-over narration (show don't tell), inept acting (Daniel Ranieri's cringe-inducing performance), and an on-the-nose script (beauty-can-disguise-a-horrible-soul), doom this movie to the dust bin of history.

Memoir moral: J.R. Moehringer wasn't bright enough to realize he had a responsible father figure all along. Duh.

Dumbass.

Pulitzer — Schumilitzer. 

Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

This website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon. Thanks a lot pal!