85 posts categorized "Suspense"

August 15, 2023

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE — DEAD RECKONING PART ONE

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Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.ColeSmithey.comThis ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

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ColeSmithey.comHow the mighty have slipped.

"Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One" doesn't bode well for "Part Two."

With more plot holes than a colander, "Dead Reckoning" blows its bloated budget with a seemingly AI generated script that constantly repeats itself, as if to put a fine point on its manifold shortcomings.

Spectacle replaces storytelling.

ColeSmithey.com

This film's budget could have fed the people of Nicaragua for a couple of years.

So much for Nicaragua.

ColeSmithey.com

An extended pre-credit submarine sequence lays the groundwork for a silly McGuffin involving a pair of fancy keys that, when locked together, enable entry to an advanced AI system that threatens to take control of all humanity before you can sneeze.

ColeSmithey.com

Tricky mask disguises pulled from the original '60s era television series, that gave the movie franchise its basis, make for some fun character reversals.

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Entertaining too are good old fashioned suspense sequences involving car chases, and a speeding Orient Express train that experiences serious problems with gravity involving a missing bridge.

Watch out for falling pianos.

ColeSmithey.com

Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt doesn't interact in person with his team much. He's too busy running a maze of plot points that necessarily involve jumping, flying, and falling.

ColeSmithey.com

"Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One" is a fine excuse to sit in an air conditioned movie theater for a few hours in the midst of summer, but it's not as good as any of the franchise's predecessors.

ColeSmithey.com

Hopefully, the filmmakers have already shot part two of "Dead Reckoning" because Tom Cruise doesn't look like he'll have enough gas in the tank for anymore additions to this flailing spy thriller franchise.

ColeSmithey.com

Baked, battered, and fried; stick a fork in it. It's all uphill from here.

Rated PG-13. 163 mins.

2 Stars

Cozy Cole

ColeSmithey.com

 

March 20, 2022

DEEP WATER

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Groupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.ColeSmithey.comThis ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

ColeSmithey.com

 



ColeSmithey.comPathetic.

Director Adrian Lyne need not have come out of retirement for this cinematic abomination.

If this were the first Patricia Highsmith adaptation you ever saw you probably wouldn't have any interest in watching any of the many filmic versions of  "The Talented Mr. Ripley" available.

This movie sucks. 

Screen Shot 2022-03-20 at 12.33.54 PM

Ben Affleck has established a pattern of bombs. 

"The Tender Bar," "The Last Duel," and now this dog.

Screen Shot 2022-03-20 at 12.30.45 PM

Her Hotness Ana De Armas doesn't even come across as sexy regardless of her gratuitous nudity. 

There's no one to root for in this filmic slop.

Shallow Stream is a more appropriate title.

Rated R. 115 mins. 

Zero StarsZERO STARS

Cozy Cole

Cole Smithey on Patreon

March 14, 2022

THE LIGHTHOUSE

ColeSmithey.comGroupthink doesn't live here, critical thought does.

Welcome!

This ad-free website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel.

Get cool rewards when you click on the button to pledge your support through Patreon.

Thanks a lot acorns!

Your kind generosity keeps the reviews coming!

Cole Smithey on Patreon



ColeSmithey.comA stone-cold masterpiece.

"The Lighthouse" would make great Broadway play.

You heard it here first.

Inestimable performances from Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe ramp up with excruciating suspense and terror.

You will squirm in your seat.

Just don't wet yourself. 

ColeSmithey.com

Co-writer/director Robert Eggers conjures up all sort of fetish hay lurking in the troubled minds of two lonely lighthouse keepers on a New England island in 1890's America.

Hungarian filmmaker Béla Tarr's influence is all over this lush black and white film.

ColeSmithey.com

A harsh game of master/servant plays out on a mythical level as a metaphor for how men relate in subtle and not-subtle games of oneupmanship.

ColeSmithey.com

Brinksmanship.

Fucking hell.

 Rated R. 109 mins. 

5 Stars“ColeSmithey.com“

Cozy Cole

Cole Smithey on Patreon

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