SEASON OF THE WITCH
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This movie sucks so awfully you'd think it was a vicious prank.
A mockery without humor, "Season of the Witch" is a diabolical failure on every level of production, music and special effects. Caricature actor Nicolas Cage plays Behman, an inarticulate 14th century Christian knight who gets fed up with killing women and children as a soldier fighting in the Crusades.
The Roman Catholic Church has a proclivity for conducting witch trials that always end up with the same result. Behman and his equally smarmy war buddy Felson (Ron Perlman) go AWOL. On the run in a plague-infested village, the pair are arrested and forced to transport a nameless demonically-possessed girl across "dangerous" terrain. Their destination is an abbey where the erratic child will be "fairly" judged about her identity as a witch.
An exorcism may be needed. The girl (ferociously played by Claire Foy) is blamed for unleashing the Black Plague , which is killing thousands. Devil wolves and a shaky rope bridge provide about as much suspense as a Peanuts cartoon.
Looking spookily like the Sex Pistol's drummer Paul Cook, Stephen Graham gives the film its only bright spot in his supporting role as Hagamar, a petty swindler who guides the group across a not-so-daunting wilderness filled with dubious CGI effects. You'll yawn, you'll look at your watch, and you'll be sorry you wasted your time and money.
ZERO STARS
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